That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the past year, a handful of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the third season started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost wilful procession of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but dismissive egotist.
The Iris Affair
Of course we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
The Gangster Drama
Shady characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.